Karen Miranda's Ghost is haunting Apartment 302
by Melissa Pinol
Filk of "Carmen Miranda's Ghost is haunting Space Station #3"
by Leslie Fish  

Karen Miranda's ghost is haunting apartment 302
All of us have seen her, and what she used to do
And if you think I've lost my mind from all the sleep I've Missed
Then why do I keep waking up with chains upon my wrists?
 
Don't go to the bathroom in the middle of the night
For you just might see her fearful specter dressed in leather tights
Once I got up because I heard a really awful sound
And felt an overwhelming urge to grovel on the ground.
 
Strange messages are left upon my answering machine
They say they want to see me, and they hope I'm really mean
one day the janitor came by to try to fix the floor
A riding crop appeared and chased him screaming out the door
 
I'm getting tired of finding handcuffs heaped upon my chair
The shreiks disturb my reading, it's getting hard to bear
Though she scares unwanted guests away, and really can be sweet
Why can't we have a normal ghost dressed in a tattered sheet?
 
Karen Miranda didn't die, she only moved away
And why her spirit lingers here I really cannot say
Perhaps out on the astral plane she's finally learned the knack
of keeping her profession without messing up her back.