Jack the Slob and the Goddess of Love
By
Leslie Fish
Jack the slob to Venus prayed
Grant this night I shall get laid
Venus said "That shall I do"
But first three things I'd ask of you
Go clean your teeth and bod and hair
and change that week old underware
Then put on clothes flattering you
a clean t-shirt and jeans will do
Next if a maid you would impress
pray do not drewel down her chest
Jack replied "No thank you, ma'am"
"Send one who'll take me as I am"
The Goddess said "I'll tell thee what"
"Though I should kick thy lazy butt"
"Perhaps t'would be more fitting, far
to send one who'll take you as you are"
"Go at once to the city zoo
and there you'll find the mate for you
Thense he went with hopes held high
until the ape house he came nigh
There a maiden him did view
and she was struck with passion true
Her hair was long, her looks were free
Indeed she was a lovely chimpanzee
She lept the fense err he could run
and seised him boldly by the bun
She dragged him boldly to her lair
for all that I know he may still be there
So lazy swaines, you'd best beleive
You should not get the Goddess peived.