Switchboad Swing or Hotline Holler
(Consisting of commonly-asked questions from callers to the Switchboard at San Francisco Sex Information)
by Sadie Damascus

Can you tell me how I would make love to a guy?
How long should a fellow's dong be?
Does this mean that I'm gay?
It's my first time today...
Am I too old at seventy-three?

How can I tell, if my wife doesn't yell?
Is it wrong if I long for a prick?
Can I catch it from kissing?
Is my g-spot missing?
Why does he come so damn quick?

Am I doing it right? Is my asshole too tight?
Can you help me...I want to get laid.
I hear sperm make you fat.
Did you ever do that?
How much does a hooker get paid?

My friend wants to know if you suck or you blow.
Will it make me go blind or insane?
What's a buttock? A Boner?
Does she want me to phone her?
Do all women faint from the pain?

What do lesbians do? Am I too young to screw?
Can a vibrator get lost inside?
What's the thing in boys' pants
that sticks up when you dance?
Is there anything we haven't tried?

Are there really fistfuckers? Can boys be cocksuckers?
Do most women fake it a lot?
Will a rubber work twice?
Does a pussy smell nice?
Is fifteen times daily a lot?

Is it true that girls come? Do big tits mean you're dumb?
Where can I and my wife go to swing?
If my friend got VD,
Could she give it to me?
What's that weird-looking birth-control thing?

How do women get hot? What's a grafenberg spot?
Is it normal to jerk off all day?
Can a girl get knocked up
if she's still an "A" cup?
Could you tell your kid, "Mommy's turned gay"?

My buddy's a bi, and he got me to try.
Does once count? or am I still a guy?
Can I make it last longer?
Are men's sex drives stronger?
Can you suck your own dick if you try?

Should I douche every day? Should a man have to pay?
Can my mother tell I take the pill?
Am I doing it wrong?
Is eight inches too long?
Are there really girls out there who will?